"In the year of our Lord, Nineteen Eighty Two, Polystructures fell from space. Massive but light, they touched the atmosphere and stuck.

Scientists made new materials. Builders made new cities. Families made their homes thousands of feet above ground level.

Art made the floating super-sculptures, and culture made the floating caviar socials to regard them.

In the year of our Lord, Twenty Eleven, you cannot look up from beneath a city and see the stars.

But you can look down from above it. And you can jump.

The jumps you make are not about art. They are about a reckless disregard for safety.

The jumps you make are not about culture. They are about a reckless disregard for regulation.

The jumps you make are not about science. They are about a reckless disregard for gravity."



So speaks the robotic female announcer at the intro screen to this utterly genius game, entitled "AaaaAAAaaAAaAAAaAAAAaAAaaaaaaaaaaAA!: A Reckless Disregard for Gravity". And that's about all you need to know; you're a thrill-seeking adrenaline junkie, willing to do whatever the hell, who grabs a camera and jumps off of a floating skyscraper for the sole purpose of nearly dying and wracking up Hugs and Kisses (translation: hugging walls as you fall and nearly smacking your head on things, both worth points) in order to get a ranking out of five stars based on how awesome you are. You can also hit birds as you fall. Among other things...

The game, sadly, is not free, and can only be purchased with a credit card for about fifteen bucks. I, however, do not have a credit card. So, as much as I think the developers should be paid for their work (And I plan on purchasing it once I do get a credit card, simply to pay my dues) I- this is a bad idea, but hey- downloaded an ISO file of it, something which I am way too good at. So yeah, I pirated it. Didn't want to, but hell, only way I could play it at the mo'.


And it's amazing.


It's astounding. It's mind-blowing.

Just.

Wow.

Play this game. The thrill is tangible, thick in the air, as you fall at an insane velocity past floating skyscrapers, skidding your arm along the side of a concrete building, wracking up points, threading the needle through utterly impossible gaps- only to land face-first on another building entirely, hear your character scream in agony and receive a hilarious message akin to "You pelvis hath snapped in twain!" and a point screen.

And no frustration. Ever. You just laugh and try again. It's that kind of game; too much fun to be frustrating.

It's hilarious, too. I won't spoil the best parts of its humorous presentation, but I'll give you an example.

You use Teeth (cash collected by scoring big on base jumps) to purchase cubes, which can be levels, random movies, audio clips (which are totally hilarious; my favourite is the "Anti-Meditation" one that warns you that 'this has been tested, and is not actually relaxing at all. I am now touching your face.' ) and items/upgrades. One of these is the Glove. This allows you to do two things. First, when you fall, you'll see crowds of people whirring by, cheering on your awesomeness. Look at them and left-click, and THUMBS UP!- uber point upgrade, and the fans love you! But then, on the red catwalks, protesters, complaining about how suicidal and reckless the sport is, how stupid you are. Good thing right-clicking allows you to flip them the bird. (Well, it's represented by an icon of a peace sign, just for the hell of it/the PG rating, but...) Seriously. This is a game about falling through the sky, giving people the thumbs-up or flipping them the bird as you go by, then whipping out a spray can and quickly graffiti-ing "GIANT ROBOT PORNOGRAPHY" on a nearby building, then whirring around it to weave through more catwalks and popping a spinning heli-parachute to land safely. This game is awesome.


I would suggest paying for the release; I would, if I could. I feel bad about not being able to.

At least play the demo, if you don't have cash to spend and you're too paranoid/respectful to pirate the game. I don't condone or support the pirating of any game, film or software, and suggest STRONGLY that you support the official release- unless, like me, you simply can't.


Before I go: I was thinking of making my journal a full-blown game/book/movie review center, just throwing down reviews of the games I play, movies a watch, books I read, whatnot. It seems nerdy, but people seem to like my opinions, and it seems to help jimmy my author's blocks (is that... even a proper way to put it...?) pretty well. Plus I love getting my opinion out.


Happy jumping!

~Con